revilement
by FlyingteletubbieManatees
Summary: Do you know what its like to get away from your parents but they come back to haunt you? Well James Diamond does
1. stars

Hey guys this is my first fan fiction ever so YAY FOR ME! I really hope you guys like this because I think I do. Ok question time! Who here hates all the fan fictions about girls coming in to one of the guy's lives and everything changes and all that crap. There are WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY *hyperventilating now* WAY WAY WAY WAY TO MANY OF THOSE FUCKIN STORIES! Please excuse my language I usually don't use that kind except for when im angry. So ya there aren't any good James angst stories Except for all the stories by "Falling to fly!" And "One Man Writing Game!' and then the story memories. But that's all I can think of so ya not to many! And sorry for the long authors note im done now.

Convo between me and Big time rush.

Me: So James what do you think the story will be like?

James: I really don't know but that's a good Question. Lets find out.

Carlos: Yay story time!

**James was sitting in his room listing to music and doing homework when Kendall knocked on his door.**

"**Hey James phones for you. Can I come in?" He yelled over the volume of the music.**

"**Yeah sure come in." Kendall walked in to their room and handed James the phone.**

"**Hello?" James answered.**

"**James!" The man on the other line seemed really happy to talk to him. But James had no clue who he was or why he wanted to talk to him.**

"**Um who is this?" James asked in confusion.**

"**It's me silly, your dad." The man replied. And at those words James froze in the position he was in. He couldn't believe he was talking to his dad. Why did his dad want talk to him? What did his dad what? And where did he get the house number? Crap Kendall was watching him with a worried expression.' I need to think of something fast um Oh that will do.' James thought.**

"**Um no thanks I don't want any more hair spray I'm good for now, thanks though." James replied and hung up.**

"**Who was that?" Kendall asked with a raised eye brow.**

'**That was my hair dresser. She calls up once in a while to see if I need any more hair spray." James answered coolly.**

"**Oh, wait you have a guy hair dresser?" Kendall asked with a smile.**

"**Uuu Yeah I do why?' James answered quickly.**

"**No reason that's just weird having a guy touch your hair." Kendall shrugged and left the room.**

'**Few that was a close one. You need to be more careful James you don't want the guys learning about your past do you?" He asked himself. He then went back to his homework. He eventually gave up because he couldn't concentrate. 'I need to think about what's going on.' James though. So he left his room and started for the door when a voice made him turn around.**

" **Hey where ya going." Carlos asked.**

"**Um out? Why?" **

"**Can I come?" Carlos asked.**

"**Sorry Carlos I need to be alone." James answered in a sympathetic voice.**

"**Ok!" Carlos said in a happy cheerful voice and just walked away. James just shrugged his shoulders and left. He took the elevator to the top floor and walked down the hallway he then turned left and walked straight. Then he turned right and left again. Right once more and stopped at the fourth door on the left. He walked up a few sets of stairs and came up on the roof.**

**No one ever went up on the roof so he knew he would be alone. He when to his special spot where he liked to lay down. He lay down to gaze up at the stars. This was his most favorite spot in the palm woods. It was peaceful and a good place to think. He just gazed at the stars and thought of his parents that he hated for so many reasons. There was one memory that he remembered very clearly.**

_**Hey mom, dad I'm home a 14 year old James yelled from the front door. "Why the hell are you yelling?" demanded his mom.**_

"_**Oh yeah right new rule no yelling." James mumbled.**_

"_**The hells right no yelling." His dad said and hit James across the face. "Now go up to your room and stay there the whole night no dinner." James trudged up the stairs as he though how this could have happened to him. It was only recently that his parents had started hitting him. But it was only recently that his older brother Aidan had gone to college also. It started with his mom dinking to help with the pain of her special baby boy leaving. Because even when she wasn't drinking James was never good enough at sports or at school. His mom called him a wuss or priss. Because he was always checking his hair or face and making sure he looked perfect. **_

_**His mom hated him and he often wondered why they kept him around. Why not just disown him so he could get away from them. He finally got to his door and opened it. He threw his stuff on the ground and looked in the mirror on the wall. Dam another bruise he will have to cover with makeup. Yes its gotten that bad that he now has to cover up bruises that his parents make so people at school won't get suspicious. His friends haven't noticed yet so apparently he's doing a good job of covering them up. **_

_**He goes over to his back pack and pulls out his homework and stated doing it. He eventually falls asleep on his bed. The next morning he wakes up to yelling. His parents are drunk again. He gets up packs up his backpack gets dressed in the few clean clothes he has and goes down stairs to see what all the yelling is about and sees his mom holding a knife to his dad. Yup typical morning. But this time she turns to him and runs at him. He's too scared to do anything so he puts his hands up in defense but that only made it worse. The knife when through his lower part of the arm and stuck to the wall. He was stuck to the wall by a knife through his arm. Luckily his dad wasn't too drunk and realized what he had to do. James was screaming in pain as his dad went over there and pulled the knife out of his are out if the wall. He then grabbed a towel and wrapped it over James arm and led him to the car.**_

_**He rushed James to the ER and took him the front desk. Once the nurse saw all the blood and the crying boy she quickly called for n gurney and a doctor. It turns out the knife broke James arm and he had to get stitches on both sides of his arm top and bottom. His friends asked about it the next day and he just pasted it off as falling of his bicycle on to a sharpened tree branch. His friends beloved him so he was happy. Unfortunately that was not the first and last visit to the hospital because of his parents it was only the beginning.**_

**As James was thinking of that memory he was subconsciously rubbing at the scar he now has on his arm he will never forget where that scar came from and that was the last thought he had before he fell into a restless sleep.**

Ok so how was that for my first chapter on my first fan fic. Pretty awesome huh? Ya I thought so to. Well don't have much to say except REVIEW PLEASE!


	2. breathe

**Hey so here's the next chapter! And I could like to thank decembersaterdayfan for being my first reviewer! YAY you rock! Ok well I don't have much to say this time so on with the story!**

**Convco between me and BIg time rush**

**Me: So Logan how did you like the last chapter? Was it good?**

**Logan: Ya! James I didn't know you had a special spot in the palm wood. Or that your parents were abusing you?**

**James: ya well neither did I. **

**Me: Ok who wants some tacos before we get started?**

**Big time rush gang: US!**

**Carlos: With extra marshmallows**

**Me: Ok! YUMMY!**

James woke up the next morning on the roof but he had a blanket around him. 'Huh I didn't remember having this when I came up.' He thought.' Kendall must have brought it**. **After all he is the only one that knows I come up here. He's so nice to me.' James thought.' Maybe I should tell him about my past. After all he did tell me how he felt when his dad died in the war. Ya maybe I should tell him.' No that would just make him worry and he already has enough to worry about. Like his father's anniversary and Jo.' After that last though James got up and left to go to his apartment. When got there everybody else was already up and eating breakfast.

"Hey James where ya been." Logan asked. You missed a lot of fun.

"Um nowhere in particular just out." He said as he sat at the table with his friends.

"ya James you totally missed swirly slide action last night." Carlos piped in. Logan started laughing as he remembered what happened last night.

"Ya like Carlos getting pushed of and falling to the floor." Logan said still Chuckling. James smiled at that. But not even imaging Carlos Falling of a slide could cheer him up. He was just too damn worried about his dad.

"James… Woohoo…..James!" It was Kendall who was calling him.

"Huh… w-what..Oh sorry." James responded snapping out of his thoughts.

"You ok?" Kendall asked.

"Phsss ya I am ok what makes you think I'm not?" James asked. Kendall bent down and whispered in his ear.

"Because you stayed up on the roof all last night without dinner and you went all pale when you were talking on the phone last night."

With the mention of food James forgot how hungry he was.

"Um ya no im fine just hungry." Was James' lame excuse. He grabbed a few waffles and put ketchup on the and left to his room. His friends though it was gross to eat waffles with ketchup on them he thought it was delicious. He sat in his room until it was time to go to rehearsals. But his singing was horrible he just didn't have the will right now and he kept missing his queue.

"JAMES WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!" Gustavo yelled at the tall brunette.

"Sorry Gustavo my mind just isn't on the song right now." James replied sheepishly.

"GOD YOU'RE SUCH A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT. YOU CANT SING, YOU CANT DANCE, AND NOW YOU CANT EVEN REMEMBER A SONG!" Gustavo roared. "GET OUT JUST GET OUT RIGHT NOW!"

James just stood there and remembered another time he was called a worthless piece of shit. He didn't want to replay that scene in his head so he just ran with tears streaming down his face. He could here his friends call for him to come back but his legs wouldn't let him. So he just ran with every memory of his childhood running through his mind as well. He ran and ran until he couldn't run any longer. He collapsed by a tree in the park. He though he was alone but then he heard footsteps coming up behind hind him. But he didn't have the strength to turn around plus he couldn't breathe so he just sat there crying his eyes out gasping for breath. His friends ran p beside him and knelt down in front of him.

"Logan what do we do he can't breathe!" Came the panicked voice of Carlos.

"Ok well first we need to get him to stop crying and take big lung full's of air. Ok?" Logan replied noticing the blue ting to James lips. Not a good sign.

"James calm down ok. Just calm down everything will be ok." Logan cold hear his friends already trying to calm him down and it was working. James heart wracking sobs were slowing down to just soft little whimpers now.

"Ok now just take big breathes ok get your lungs full of air." Kendall told him. James just started gulping down air after the spastic attack he just had. But now that he could breathe better he seemed better.

"What the crap was that all about James?" Carlos asked. James just shook his head and lay down in the grass. Soon all the guys were laying down in the grass thinking about what just happened.

Kendall's POV

**That little stunt that James pulled was incredibly stupid. I wonder what set his off. Because Gustavo yelling at us is a normal rehearsal day and James has never acted like that before. Then again he has been acting quiet weird lately. I'm thinking about asking him what's going on once we get back to the palm woods. I mean after all we do share a room. It's a good thing Logan knew what to do because if he didn't we might have lost James. Well maybe not lost him but it was still scaring the shit out of me. I mean looking at his blue tinged lips. Normal people don't have blue lips. But I must say they were better looking than the ones hawk gave him.**

Carlos's POV

**I'm still shaking over what happened. Watching James run out of the studio with tears in his eyes shocked me a bit. But watching him collapse in front of a tree was ever scarier. But the thing that scared me the most was his blue lips. Even if they were better than the ones hawk gave him. It still scared the crap out of me. I hope I never have to see that sight again. I hope whatever is bugging him he will be able to tell s because we are his friends and he can always go to us.**

Logan's POV

**I'm very worried about James. He never gets so worked up over Gustavo yelling at him. I wonder what set him off. Maybe the language? But either way it's a good thing we followed him. I hope he never does that again. The blue ting to his lips was not a good sing. Even if they looked better than the ones hawk gave him. But watching him sit there gasping for air scared me. Iv never seen one of my friends so vulnerable like that before. I hope that in the futer I will never have to see that again.**

James' POV

**I can't believe I just freaked out like that. What was I thinking? I could have blown my secret and then what, have my friends feel sorry for me? No, I don't like sorrow so I try to keep it away and I have to try harder. But man that was scary I never want to feel that again. The feeling of not being able to breathe. That scared the crap out of me. And by looks on my friends faces them too. By the way Logan was looking at my lips I'm guessing they were blue. I saw that on a show once. This guy couldn't breathe and then his lips turned blue. Well at least they probably looked better than the ones hawk gave me. Hopefully because those looked awful.**

Ok so how was that? This is my first time doing it from different POV's so if a character seems out of character im really sorry tell me witch one and I will try to get it better next time. But for now just go with it. REVIEW PLEASE!


	3. the pizza girl

**Hey so I'm back and with another chapter! YAY sorry about the long wait. See my school got laptops and I wrote the chapter on it thinking I could just post it on that computer. Too bad fan fiction wouldn't let me so then I had to email this chapter to my computer and it just took a while to do that because everybody else seemed to be on it when I remembered to do that. But it's her now so enjoy. So who liked the last chapter? Because I did. Ok well now with the awesome story. Don't you just love how modest I am?**

**Convo between big time rush and me**

**Me: so who liked the marshmallow tacos?**

**Logan: Not me they were gross where did you come up with that stupid idea?**

**Me: camping with my friends and eating tacos around a camp fire. And having a really hyper friend especially around sugar that were!**

**Disclaimer: I don't nor with I ever own big time rush. But I might be on it someday.**

After sitting at the park for like an hour thinking about recent events they finally decided to go home. Once they got

there they all sat on the couch without talking. Carlos finally broke the silence that settled around the room.

"um anybody hungry?" He asked. "We could order pizza."

"Oh pizza sounds yummy let's get a pepperoni one." Logan said because he knew it was james' favorite.

"Ok i will go call." Carlos exclaimed happily because he got pizza.

"um Carlos maybe someone else should call." Kendall said.

"what, no i can do it i swear, it won't turn out like last time. Please." Carlos begged.

"fine but if anything goes wrong let either me, Logan, or James call ok?" Kendall made sure the short boy understood.

"Ya ok fine i will." Carlos replied a little joy zapped out of him. But it soon returned with knowledge of him getting to call the pizza place himself.

_*Ring*_

_*Ring*_

_*Ring*_

_*Old ladies voice*_

"Hello?"

"Hi I would like to order 1 large pepperoni pizza with extra cheese..."

"I'm sorry sonny i think you have the wrong number."

"I would also like a leader of soda preferably Dr. Pepper. Did you get all that?"

"No I did not because you have the wrong number sonny now please hang up and try the pizza place number ok? You know it seems to me this is happening to me a lot, I don't really know it's happened a few times. But anyways call the pizza place number and not mine please thanks."

"Darn I did it again." Carlos mumbles loud enough for Logan and Kendall to hear

"Call that old lady again, Carlos?" Logan asked with a little chuckle in his voice.

"What is that like the 20th time?" Kendall asked the same amusement in his eyes that Logan has.

"NO! Its only like the 10th time for your information." Carlos yelled angrily. But we all know Carlos cant be angry for long and soon he was laughing along with Kendall and Logan. James came out of his room that he went in to as Carlos was ordering the pizza to see what everybody was laughing about.

"Hey what's so funny?" He asked

"Carlos called the old lady again." Kendall exclaimed laughing even harder than before. James started to chuckle a little.

"Wait isn't that like his 25th time?" James asked.

"No it was only my 10th time." Carlos said taking a break from laughing. But seeing the merriment on James' face he started laughing again. It was good to have the old James back. These last few days James hasn't been himself.

But now he was laughing like nothing was wrong. Maybe everything is back to normal. Maybe James fixed whatever he was worried about. If only Carlos new the half of it.

James walked over and grabbed the phone from Carlos and started dialing the right number.

*Ring*

*Ring*

*Ring*

"Hello little Caesars pizza."

"Yes hello I would like to order a large...What kind of pizza do you guys want?" James asked.

"Well don't you like pepperoni?" Logan asked.

"Yeah but you guys don't. Why don't we get like sausage or something?"

"But you hate sausage."

"So I can pick it off."

"Ya but we can pick of the pepperoni also."

"But there's just one of me and three of you." James explained. He then got on the phone and ordered a large sausage pizza with a leader of Dr. Pepper.

"Ok it's all ordered." James told the guys. They then sat down on the couch and watched hockey until the pizza arrived.

*Ding dong*

*Ding dong*

"Coming!" Carlos called as he walked to the door. He swung it open and saw a pretty girl standing there in the door way hold the pizza and soda.

"Hello you ordered the pizza right?" She asked

"Well yes I did my names Carlos and you are...?" He asked.

She giggled and said. "Silver my names silver." and she hands him the pizza.

"Well that's a pretty name." He says and winks at her. She winks back and says.

"That will be $10.50."

"Here ya go and may i ask for some parmesan and a date." He asks

"You may here ya go and what time do you want to pick me up." She asks

"O lets say around six tomorrow night?" He asks

"Sure but I got to go so here." And she hands him her number and address then leaves.

"Pizzas here!" He calls as he walks into the kitchen and put the pizza on the counter and gets out paper plates and holders.

"Ya we know and you also got a date." Kendall said walking into the kitchen.

"Oooo Carlos has a daaaate, Carlos has a daaaate, Carlos has a daaate." Logan and Kendall chanted together. That's when James walks in the kitchen and grabs a slice of pizza and a cup of soda.

"so i hear you have a date Carlos?" James asks

"Um oh ya i do with the pizza delivery girl."

"Oh good job they are always the best you always get a free slice of pizza." He says as he walks to the couch again and sits down. After he finished he went to his room and put on some sweats and a muscle shirt.

"I'm going for a jog be back soon." And he leaves. A few minutes after he leaves the phone rings and Kendall answers it.

"Hello?" He asks

"Um Hi is James there?" The guy on the phone asked.

"Oh well um he just left but can i take a message?" Kendall asks

"Ok that would be great. I'm James father and i just wanted to let him know that im coming for a visit." James dad said.

"Oh that's great I will let him know as soon as he gets back. What time are you coming?"

"I was thinking about Monday at 10:00 AM."

"Perfect we will be ready."

"Ok thanks and tell James I said hi." His dad said and hung up.

"Who was that Kendall?" Logan asks.

"That was James dad he's coming for a visit."

"Oh really sweet I can't wait to meet him!" Carlos exclaimed. And at that moment James walks in all sweaty.

"Can't wait to meet who?" James said.

"You're back early." Logan says.

"Ya i only went around the block and again can't wait to meet who?" James asks again.

"Um your parents are coming on Monday for a visit." Kendall said.

"W-what? You-you mean h-he-here?" James asks.

"Um ya aren't you happy?" Carlos asks. And at that point James sprints out of the house and runs down the stairs and out of the palm woods. He didn't stop. He just ran without a destination. Just ran around town past people and places not caring about the looks he got. Just ran. He ran blind until he couldn't run anymore. He finally stopped and sat on the curb. He had no idea where he was so he started walking around until he found a bus stop. He took the bus home. Right when he got in the apartment he went straight to his room without a word to his friends. He got undressed took a shower and went to bed.

"I thought he would be happy to hear his parents we coming." Carlos said.

"Ya same here i was not expecting his reaction." Logan agreed.

"Maybe he was just caught off guard and didn't know how to act so he went for a run." Kendall said.

"Ya maybe come on guys let's get to sleep maybe everything will be better in the morning." Logan said and they all went to bed.

**If only that was true too bad it's not. So how did you like that? I know it's not a lot of angst but there will be in the next chapter because that is the chapter where his parents come in. REVIEW IF YOU LIKED IT! :)**


	4. home coming

**Ok I'm so very completely really really really really really really really really sorry for not updating in like what FOREVER! See even I'm mad at myself. But I do have a reason I went bowling with my friends and broke my pointer middle and thumb fingers. So I couldn't write until I got the thingies that they put on your fingers off. But now there off and my fingers don't hurt anymore and I can write again! YAY! Who's exited? ME!Ok no more procrastinating on to the story!**

**Convo between Big Time Rush and me**

**Me: Hey look everybody her comes Kendal! What's up kendork?**

**Kendall: One the cake that Carlos threw and two I'm not KENDORK!**

**Me: Ok fine party pooper let's just get to the story.**

**WARNING!: Ok so there is actually warning in this chapter. Warning child abuse.**

James couldn't sleep. He tried he tossed and turned but couldn't seem to get comfortable. All that was running through his head was 'not them, not again, I don't think I can live with that again. Besides what if my friends find out? I can't let that happen either. God my life is really messed up.' Eventually he fell asleep from exhaustion. The next day he woke up earlier than normal and decided to go on a run. It was chilly and wet because it rained last night. But James didn't care. He knew he would warm up once he started running. He ran until the sun started to rise. He then realized that he should get home his friends would wake up soon and he needed to be there. He got home just in time because his friends started come out of their rooms when he walked in.

"Hey James where ya been?" Carlos asked still sleepy.

"Oh I just went on a morning run." He replied casually.

"Hey James you ok you look like you went to hell and back." Logan told him worriedly. And he was right. James had big purple rings around his eyes and his hair wasn't as shinny as normal. He was just worrying about his parents to much.

"Huh? Oh yeah I'm fine just….tired is all." He said walking over to the couch. Then they had breakfast and cleaned the whole apartment getting ready for James parents. They then all collapsed on the couch.

"Man I never knew how tiring it is cleaning a house." Carlos complained.

"Ya but it's done so be happy." Logan told him. Just then the door bell rang and Kendall got up to answer it. When he opened the door he saw James parents standing there.

"Oh you must be James parents right?" Kendall asked.

"Yes we are." His mom answered. She was about 5 foot with long brown hair and chocolate brown eyes that when you looked into them they looked like they were looking into your sole. She was a small petite woman that had a nice figure.

"May we come in?" His father asked. He was a tall burly man with big arms and a lean figure. He had short dark hair and big dark brown eyes that looked cold and hard. He had a beard that was medium length.

"Um yeah sure." Kendall was stunned at how much James looked like his mom. But had a figure like his dads. They walked in and dropped their bags in the living room.

"JAMSEY-POO!" His mom yelled and opened her arms wide for a hug. James got up hesitantly not sure if his parents where for real or not. But then I dawned on him that they were being nice to him around his friends so they won't know. That made him relax just the slightest that his friend won't find out. He then got up and gave his mom a small hug. As he was wrapped around her with his head by her mouth she whispered….

"We'll get you tonight when you decide to come to your apartment to "hang out" She whispered menacingly. At that James started to tremble just a little. 'Going to their house? That would be horrible!' He thought but he knew if he didn't suggest it soon the consequences would be ten times worse. His parents talked with his friends and told them how much they loved James and how he was always spoiled rotten. 'Ha yeah right they love me.' James thought bitterly.

But soon it was time for his parents to leave and he knew he had to go with them so he stood up sucked in a big breath and tried to hide the tremble in his voice.

"hey why don't I go with you and maybe spend the night, you know so we can spend more time together." He suggested hoping maybe just maybe they will say no. But his hopes were crushed just like that.

"Oh we would love that honey come on we need to get going his mother said in her loving tone. It sickened James hearing her use that fake tone just to fool his friends. But just as long as his friends never found out he would be ok. So after his parents got their stuff together they all left to go to where ever his parents were staying.

They finally arrived at this old looking house in the middle of nowhere. James looked around and decided it was because his parents didn't want people to hear his screams of pain, that they caused him. He silently fallowed his parents up to the door of the house and inside. The inside looked at least a bit better. Livable James decided.

His parents when to one of the back bedrooms ad put their stuff down. They them walked to the fridge and grabbed a couple of beers. It seems they came here before going to the palm woods. James sat down in what looked to the living room and waited patiently for his parents to come. When they finally did he asked them a question he's been waiting forever to ask.

"Where's Shane? "

"That little brat? Once you left he went up for adoption." His mother said without even looking bad for doing it.

"Y-you gave him away?" James asked stunned that they could possibly be that cruel.

"Hell yeah what else would we do with him. He gave us heart break again because he was nothing like your older brother Mathew. He was a god. He liked football, soccer, baseball basically every sport out there and he always got good grades in school." His father said proudly. "Nothing like you the only sport you liked was hockey, you're always obsessed with your looks and you're dumber than a mule. Who could want a son like you?" His father told him cold heartedly. "Shane is just like you. No one will ever want him."

By this time James was almost in tears by the words of his father. How could he have abandoned Shane like that? Just like Mathew abandoned him. He might never see him again. 'You're such a horrible brother' James thought. 'Leaving Shane with these people all alone.' 'How could you?' Right after he finished that thought he felt something smack his cheek and leave it stinging. He looked up to see his dad towering over him.

"I know what you're thinking and yes, you are a horrible brother leaving your little brother all alone. Too bad, now you will never see him again." His father laughed evilly. He then picked James up and threw him into the wall with so much force that he left an indent. James just lay there unable to get up with how much pain he was in. His mother then went over there and started kicking him the ribs and stomach, telling him how much she hated him and how he should never have been born.

After she was finished with her rant Mr. Diamond grabbed James by the neck and picked him up slamming him against the wall again. And then started punching him repeatedly in the face. After he was satisfied with the damage he made he dropped James to the floor. Then his wife and he drove off to go to a couple night clubs. They left James on the floor curled up in a ball bloody and crying on the floor. The only thing running through his head was all the things his parents told him. And he was starting to believe it.

He finally got the strength to get up. He swayed a bit at first but then got his footing. He had to get out of here. Go back to the palm woods. So he started the long journey back home in the dead of night. Broken and bruised physically and mentally.

**Ok how was that good, bad, so horrible I should crawl in a hole and never come out? Tell me in a review! And again I'm so sorry for the long wait I so would have updated but I couldn't type unfortunately but now you have it so enjoy it. **


	5. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

**Ok so my laptop charger broke so I couldn't use my laptop. And I don't like writing with my family around the house. So I had to wait for them to leave to update. Their gone and I can update! Ok story time.**

**Convo between Big Time Rush and me. **

**James: But my daddy loves me! *sniff* **

**Me: Duh I know that. I'm just evil and like being mean. Muahaha!**

**Logan: But did you have to beat him up.**

**Me: Yes.**

**Logan: Are you su-**

**Me: yes.**

**Logan: but-**

**Me: yes.**

**Logan: stop cutting me o-**

**Me: yes**

By the time James got home it was already 7:00 AM. His friends would be getting up at 7:30 AM to get ready to go to Gustavo's. So that gave him 30 minutes to clean himself up a little. Unfortunately for him, His friends got up early and were sitting in the living room watching TV as he came in. Right when they heard the door open they turned around. What they saw standing in the doorway made them all jump up from the couch and sprint to the door.

"James!" Kendall called as he got to James first. "What the Heck happened?" He questioned as he studied James looking to see if there were any major injuries.

"Umm, Umm." James stuttered.

"Come on buddy tell us." Logan said to James in a soothing voice.

"I uh well see..." James was at a loss for words. If he told his friends they would think he was disgusting for not doing something. But if he didn't what else would he say?

"James what is it?" Carlos asked.

"My parents and I we went downtown for something's that they needed." He started to explain. "I went across the street to look at some Cuda products. That's when I got jumped and dragged into an ally. I didn't want my parents to see me like this so I walked back here." 'Wow that was a pretty good lie' he thought.

"Oh James you idiot." Logan told him. You could have just called us or something.

"Um no because they um they took my phone when I got jumped." He lied again. 'God I have never lied to them in my life and now two lies in a row, this has got to stop.'

"Ok well take off your shirt, we need to see if you have any broken ribs." Kendall told him. James did as he was told and luckily he didn't, just sever bruising. They took him into the bathroom and put on some medication. They then wrapped his ribs in some gauze. And gave him some ice for his eye and face where some bruises were forming. Logan then led him to the couch and had him lie down. As he did so he winced in pain from the bruises on his back, from being thrown against the wall, twice.

After a few minutes he fell asleep. And his friends went to call Gustavo and tell him there not going to rehearsal because James got hurt. After Gustavo yelled at them for 20 minutes they went into the living room to watch TV quietly. Somehow as they were watching TV it got changed to the news channel. Where they were talking about the two people who escaped Prison and went to LA. That got Carlos freaked out But Logan and Kendal managed to calm him down. With all the ruckus going on it awoke James, he got into a sitting position without to much difficulty.

"Hey guys what's going on?" He asked in a raspy voice.

"Oh James I'm sorry did we wake you up?" Logan asked.

"No not really." He said. He didn't really know what woke him up until he looked at the TV. His parent's names were on the news. He quickly turned it off so his friends wouldn't see.

James, what's wrong? Why did you turn off the TV? "Kendall asked as he reached for the remote. James tried to grab it first but in the shape he was in he wasn't near fast enough. Kendall turned the TV back on in just enough time to see James' Parents names on the screen.

All The boys including James', Face paled considerably. Then his three friends turned to him with their mouths open in shock. They looked like they wanted to say something but couldn't. That's when James got up and bolted for the door. He ran down the steps and out through the lobby. His fiends fallowing him screaming his name. As he ran across a street a car was coming, but James was to freaked to see it. His friends saw it however and started running faster and screaming his name more frantic, but it was to late. The car hit James head on and his limp body fell to the ground unmoving.

**OH cliff hanger! Im very very very sorry for the shortness of the chapter. Major blockage. But it's up and everything, next chapter promise will be up faster and longer. Dare I ask for reviews?**


	6. Dead?

**Ok again I'm apologizing for the really short chapter last time. This one is longer, promise and its up faster too! Now you don't want to kill me right? –grabs pitch fork, runs and hide's- Ok on this the awesome story.**

**Convo between Big Time Rush and me**

**James: Did you really have to make me get hit by a car?**

**Unnaturalstories: Yes, it wouldn't be a story if I didn't.**

**Logan: Actually I like James getting hit by a car, I think it's funny.**

**James: SHUT UP LOGAN!**

Logan's POV

Blood, that's all I saw. Blood, blood, and more blood. On the street, on James, on the car, and on Kendall. That's when I realized Kendall had run to James and put his head in his lap. I wanted to go over there to, but I just couldn't. Seeing your best friend lying in the street bloody was something that makes you stop dead in your tracks. That's when it occurred to me, I should call an ambulance. So that's what I did. I took out my phone and fumbled with it for a bit with my shaking hands. You could probably give someone a vibrating massage with my hands, they were shaking so much. I finally got it open and dialed the numbers I never wanted to dial ever again. The lady that was on the line was really nice. She asked where I was, how bad the situation was, and told me an ambulance was on the way. Once I heard that I didn't finish listening to what she was saying and hung up.

I then ran over to James, Carlos and Kendall. That's when I realized the guy who hit James was nowhere to be found. He was gone and I didn't get his license plate number. Crap By then a crowed had formed around us. I always wondered what it was about accidents that drew people to them. If I ever saw one I would just walk away. Unless of course I had something to do with it. Like if one of my friends was injured, I was injured, or I had injured someone. Because usually accidents are gory and sad. Yes, I know I want to be a doctor but when it involves my friend's I get all nauseous and can't stand the sight of blood. James was still unresponsive by the time the ambulance had come. That worried me deeply.

They checked his pulse and injury's then loaded him onto a stretcher and quickly took him away. They said one of us could ride with him. Carlos volunteered and he went. I was secretly jealous of him. I needed to make sure James was okay, but then again so does Carlos. Besides James and Carlos are better friends anyways. Kendall and I ran to the Big Time Rush mobile (I recently got my license.) And speed off to the hospital. Hang on James were coming!

Kendall's POV

When I saw James fall to the ground unmoving, my heart literally stopped. I thought please don't let him be dead. I then ran over to him and collapsed onto my knees. All I saw was blood and a lot of it. On the road, James, the car, and now me. I gingerly grabbed James' head put it into my lap. I ran my fingers through his hair and checked for a pulse. Good there is one. As I looked at his pale face I remembered a time when we were little.

_*flash back*_

"_James, Logan lets go to the pond out back and play hockey." A ten year old Kendall announced._

"_But I'm no good at hockey." Logan wined._

"_Yes you are, you just haven't practiced enough." James told him as he threw Logan his skates. After they finished putting on their gear they told Mrs. Knight where they were going and took off. They played hockey for a bit without Logan, as he didn't want to play. James finally started to feel bad for him and told Kendall he was done playing hockey and wanted to just skate for a little while. Kendall reluctantly agreed and took off his hockey gear. _

_They were having fun just playing on the ice throwing snowballs and launching each other into snow banks. As they were doing so they didn't notice that they were going to the thinner part of the pond. They were pelting each other with snowballs when they hear the ice give a loud crack. Then there were only two of them on the ice. Kendall and James. Logan had fallen through. Kendall jumped right in after him without even taking off his skates. James stood there waiting for Kendall and Logan to resurface so he could pull them up. Finally Logan had resurfaced but where was Kendall? James told Logan to stay put he had already been in the cold water long enough. James then took of his skates and jumped in to find Kendall. _

_When he finally did Logan was right there to help James get Kendall out of the water. James dragged him to a tree and told Logan to watch him. He then ran to get Mrs. Knight so she could help them. They got them all to the hospital in time. Logan and Kendall had a light hypothermia while James got mild hypothermia. Kendall and Logan got released from the hospital in three days. James on the other hand also got pneumonia and to stay in the hospital even longer. He finally got out after a three week stay. _

_*End of flash back*_

James had saved my life. Kendall thought as he kept stoking his hair. He looked around and saw the car was gone and a crowed had formed. He saw Logan on the phone. 'Good thinking Logan Kendall thought I didn't think about calling an ambulance.' He also saw Carlos right next to him holding James hand in his. Then a few minutes later he was getting pulled away from his friend so he could get put on the stretcher. The paramedic said one person could ride with James. Carlos got to go. Logan was then pulling on his arm saying something about driving to the hospital. He followed him thinking 'hang on James were coming.'

Carlos' POV

I heard screeching and a loud thump. Then I saw James limp body on the ground. And blood. I looked away thinking I'm going to be sick. But then I realized he's my friend and he needs me, so I will be there for him. I slowly walked over to Kendall where he had James head in his lap. I kneeled down and looked a James and I mean really looked at him. His leg looked like it was in a funny and painful position. His other leg had a lot of blood on it. His face was red with blood and it looked like he dyed his hair red. To put it short he looked like crap. And for James Diamond that was very rare for him to look bad. Maybe once every two years he might just might have a bad hair day, and even for him that is rare. It hurt seeing him like that. He was a Hollywood super party king of Hollywood.

They were best friends this wasn't supposed to happen. You were only supposed to read about this stuff happening to other people. That's when he lost it and started crying. He reached out and grabbed his hand and hung on for dear life. They were best friends and they always will be no matter what. That's when he looked around and saw the car that hit James was gone and there was a huge crowed around them. He also saw Logan on the phone with the paramedics. 'Good thinking logie' he thought. A few moments later the paramedic arrived and took James away from Carlos.

Luckily they said one person could ride with James. Carlos looked to see if Kendall or Logan were going to volunteer they didn't so he did. He climbed into the back of the ambulance and quickly grabbed James hand again. The feel of James reassured Carlos that he wasn't going to go anywhere. Carlos had to ride a few ambulances before and always had fun. But this time, this time it was pure agony. It seemed like they were taking for ever to get to the hospital, though it only took about two minutes. He could hear the paramedics talking and working on James be didn't understand what they were saying. When they were about half way to the hospital James woke up. His eyes cracked open just a bit. Enough for him to see Carlos and he whispered…..

"Carlos I-is that you?" Carlos had to strain his ears to hear what James had said.

"I'm right here James buddy just hang on, okay?" Right after he got that out James let out an agonizing moan and fell into the depth of unconsciousness again. When they finally arrived at the hospital James was quickly ushered into the hospital. That left Carlos standing in the parking lot wondering where to go. He didn't have to stand there long because then his friends pulled into the parking lot and ran over to him. They didn't know what to say so they all just walked into the hospital and sat down to wait. With all their minds on their best friend James and how bad off he is. All of them emotionally unstable.

**Ok so how was that good? I sure hope so. If you confuzzled on anything don't be afraid to ask in a review or Pm me and I will explain. Oh and if you're wondering if he is going to die or not that will be revealed in the next chapter so toon it read it! Unnaturalstories out! PEACE! **


	7. throwing up

**Ok sorry with leaving you with that little cliff hanger on the last chapter. It was one wasn't it? Like a tiny one? I hope you enjoyed it though. I know I did! :) Ok on with the story. First I need to tell you something, when you see these () Its still part of the characters POV/ thinking/narrator part thingy. If you don't understand that Pm me and I will try to explain. That goes with anything else you don't understand. Okay I'm done now. :)**

**Disclaimer: I'm only going to do this every few chapters just in case... I'm evil I just stole the contract to Big Time Rush! Muahahahah! "Hey, you drop that contract!" *drops it and runs* "Darn you!" Ok I don't own it. (Anymore)**

**Convo between Big Time Rush and Me!**

**Logan: Gosh deathiscoming4u why did you have to make it so gory.**

**Deathiscoming4u: Sorry Logan, just did.**

**James: Am I gonna die? *weak voice***

**Deathiscoming4u: Maaaayyyybbeeee.**

Logan sat in the waiting room completely silent. The only thing on his mind was James. James, earlier that name was just a name. The person that had the name meant a lot to him. But the name? It was just a name. Now though, now it was a name that he never wanted to forget so much that he couldn't stop saying it. James was the only name going through his mind right now. If he died, if he died he would never be able to say that name again. The only face he could ever associate the name to was James' face. Or as he liked to call it 'the face'. Logan could just remember James moving his hands down his face in a jazz like motion. Logan smiled just a little bit. But none the less a smile. He just hoped with all his might that James would be okay.

He then looked to his left and saw Carlos. He had tears running down his face and he was rocking in this chair. His face was pale and he looked like he was going to be sick. Logan felt bad for him. He may not have been the youngest, but Logan, Kendall, and James (there's that name again) always thought of him as the baby of the group. They took care of him and treated him as a baby. Even though he could take care of himself (maybe). Carlos should not have seen that. That was to horrible for Him too see. Logan wrapped an arm around Carlos' shoulders. And he could physically feel Carlos shaking like a wet dog.

When Carlos felt Logan's arm around him he felt safe. But he would feel even safer if it were James arm. He just hoped with all his might that he would be okay. Not dead. No not dead. But safe with maybe only a few scratches. Yeah that's it, they just have to bandage up all of his scratches and that's what was taking so long. Carlos tried to convince himself. It worked but only for a little bit. Then he when right back to worrying about him.

Kendall was maybe the worst off out of the group of three. Kendall and known James since preschool. They had been friends ever since Kendall ran into James that first day. They shared everything. James was there when Kendall's dad left, when he broke his leg, and even when he had a bad case of the flu and couldn't go to the hockey game he won tickets for. Even when Logan and Carlos weren't there James was. But Kendall wasn't there for him. When his parents where abusing him, when he went to the hospital with pneumonia. He was off having fun with Carlos and Logan Playing in the finals for hockey. Back then, he thought hockey was everything. Now? Now, he thinks his friends and family are first, hockey is second. But its too late to change now. How could he have been such a horrible friend, when James was such a great friend to him? With every second that went by he felt even guiltier than before. How could James ever forgive him now? No, wait actually would James ever forgive him? Did he deserve to be forgiven for being such a horrible friend? No, James couldn't, wouldn't and shouldn't forgive him. As Kendall was pondering this James' doctor walked out of the white swinging doors.

Kendall was stunned. He has been wait for him to come out of the doors, willing him to even. But when he finally did Kendall was to scared to learn the truth to get up and talk. He eventually got the courage and stood as the doctor called out "family of James Diamond?" Kendall standing was followed by Logan and then Carlos.

"You are James' parents?" They doctor asked a little confused.

"Well- um no but my mom went to take Katie home, were just friendbrothers." Kendall said.

"Friendbrothers? I'm sorry but I can't give information to... Friendbrothers or anybody unrelated. Only his guardian." The doctor said turning away.

"Look buddy, our friend is back there hurt and in pain. We really care about him and have been sitting here for over 5 hours. Now if you don't tell us how he's doing and let us see him, well I don't think you want to see the consequences now do you?" Carlos said fisting up the doctors coat and shirt with a look on his face that scared even Kendall and Logan.

"Okay, okay I can see you really care about the kid so I will tell you. But it I could get in trouble for this." The doctor said.

"Good, and you better not leave out anything. Plus who care's we wont tell." Carlos said.

"Okay, I am Dr. Kam and will be James doctor until he leaves. I will start with the minor injuries first. James came in here today in critical condition. He had two broken and three cracked ribs. His wrist was broken in three places and he had a pretty large gash on his inner thigh. That required about fifty stitches. He also had a major concision from hitting his head on the ground in the fall. We are also going to scan him for internal bleeding. Just to make sure. But the thing that is worrying us the most are the cuts on his arms. They seem to be from a knife or razor maybe. Do you kids know anything about this? Or maybe why he would be harming himself?" The doctor asked. Logan was the first one to snap out of his temporary shock.

"No, we don't know anything about that." Logan replied politely.

"Very well then, you may go see him if you want. He is in room 304 on the third floor. " And with those last words the doctor walked away.

**Kendall's POV**

I could feel all the color drain from my face at the news I had just heard. I had to sit down before I fell. How Could just a simple car create so much damage to my best friend. Just a few days ago we were joking around and having fun. Everything just changed so fast I can't grasp it all. This isn't supposed to happen to us. THIS ISN"T EVEN SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE! God this whole thing is just soo messed up. And the cuts on his wrists? What could that mean? Did he do it himself? How could I have not noticed? And what about this internal bleeding business. Cant that kill someone if you don't notice it fast enough? Does that mean James might die?

**LOGAN'S POV**

My eyes got all huge after the doctor finished explaining what was wrong with our tall friend. That was a lot, too much for my comfort. I really can't believe we let this happen. I knew cars could do a lot of damage to a person when hit. But this much was just ridiculous. Broken ribs, broken wrist, giant gash. The list could probably go on forever if the doctor told us about every cut and bruise James had. Plus what if James had internal bleeding. Sometimes that turns out fatal. James could easily slip away from us. Then what would we do? James is a part of us. He dies we die. But the thing that was bothering me the most was the cuts that the doctor mentioned. Could James really be hurting himself? Could really be cutting?

**Carlos' POV**

I was practically fuming when the doctor walked away. Yes, I wanted to know what was wrong with my friend and yes I want to see him. But I mean couldn't he have said it a little nicer than the way he did? I guess it doesn't matter because I have more pressing matters to worry about. LIKE MY BEST FRIEND BEING THIS HOSPITAL. I still can't believe this is happening. Just the other day James and I were playing a prank on Mr. Bitters. But now he's in the hospital probably dyeing. Also why was he cutting himself? Why didn't he just tell us he was feeling lousy? We could have helped him, but now it might be to late. And with that last though Carlos started silently crying.

"Well you guys ready?" Kendall asked getting up from his chair. All he got in response was a nod of the head. They made their way to the elevators and pushed the button for the elevator to come. Once they all piled in they pushed the button for the fourth floor, they did all this in complete silence. Once the elevator come to a stop and the doors opened they guys got out. Once they stepped foot on the floor they couldn't move. It was like their feet were glued to the floor. Finally Kendall made the first move. He started walking down the hallway at a slow pace, until he made it to room 304, Logan and Carlos right behind him. He put his hand on the handle of the door and turned it. But he just didn't have the strength to push it open. This door was the only thing separating him from his best friend. From him being there for his best friend, and that is what brought him to opening the door. He needed to be there for James for all the other times he wasn't.

When the door was open all the boys saw James lying in bed, and he looked _horrible. _For once in his life he looked horrible. He also looked pale and fragile laying in that hospital bed all alone. Kendall slowly walked over to him and grabbed his hand. It was so cold yet so warm.

"Hey James buddy, you wanna wake up for me now?" Kendall asked as Carlos and Logan walked over also. Logan grabbed James other hand and Carlos just stood there looking at James. This is what their best friend turned into. A giant thing of pain and hurt. It was their fault they didn't notice the pain he was in until it was to late. Their fault.

**...James POV...**

Pain that was all I felt, pain and hurt. Hurt. In my heart, on my body, in my memories. Can't it ever go away. Just for a little bit. What happened? I have never felt pain on my body after I left my parents. But now it's excruciating pain. Why? Did they come back? Was it all a dream? Wait..I-I hear voices. Worried voices. Why, are they worried about me? Or maybe someone else got hurt because of my parents. Oh I sure hope that's not it. Then I hear the voices again. I can almost make out what the voices are saying. But it's still a little fuzzy. Then all I can see is bright white light. Then I looked up and saw my three best friends. They looked worried about something. But what would they have to be worried about. Then I looked around the room I was in. It was a Hospital room. I am deathly afraid of hospitals.

**...narrators POV...**

Kendall, Carlos, and Logan sat there taking turns holding James hand, talking to him, sharing memories. But he remained unconscious no matter how much they tried, they asked, pleaded, begged, but no matter how much they did that he remained unconscious. Until finally, finally he woke up. they saw his eyes open, but then quickly close as the light was to much for him. But he finally woke up, and that's what mattered. He looked up and smiled at the boys. He then looked around And it looked like he was either going to throw up or freak out. Apparently he had to pick the first one. He bent over the side of the bed and emptied the contense of his stomach.

**Okay how was that? I know, I know. I haven't updated in forever. But everything just kinda got out of hand at my house. Plus I was getting ready for Christmas. So Yeah. Can I even ask for a review? **


	8. One question remaining or is it?

**AN: Okay so I wanted to get this chapter up before I left to go camping for new years! This chapter as all of them have angst and a lot of flash backs. I had writers block on this major. The first chapter I had to re-write like six times. I could just never get it the way I wanted. But here it is and I like this chapter. I also got a BTR CD FOR CHRISTMAS! -squeals-**

**Convo between BTR and ME**

**Deathiscoming4u: Man this chapter was sooo hard to write,**

**James : MAYBE IT CUZ YOU PUT ME IN A DARN HOSPITAL!**

**Deathiscoming4u: Naw that's not it...**

James Diamond was never one that was good with pressure. But isn't being famous a lot of pressure? Yes, but he always had his friends to help him out along the way. Take some of the weight of his shoulder; distribute it evenly. Dealing with his parents alone was a lot of pressure without anyone to share it with. Every time James got nervous he would up chuck; simple as that. He was in a hospital, his friends where there, and all he could remember was his parents coming back for him. Remember those things and you get a nervous James. What does a nervous James do throw up on the floor of a hospital. Once he was done he leaned back into the comfort of his pillows, but he wouldn't look at his friends he was to scared to.

"James, are you okay?" Logan asked looking at his best friend worriedly. All you could hear was a mumbled "Yeah."

"So then why aren't you looking at us?" Kendall asked with a hint of anger in his tone.

"I-I just...it's...YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND ALRIGHT!" James burst and yelled at Kendall. At his outburst Kendall shrank back a little but wouldn't give in.

"And another thing why didn't you tell us about your parents?" Kendall asked staring daggers at James willing him to tell them.

"I have my reasons okay Kendall? Or does the big bad leader of the band need to know everything?" James shouted back. He could feel a dull throb coming from his ribs but ignored it for the time being.

"Well I think I talk for everyone when I say we need to know that your parents were in jail!" Kendall yelled getting into James face.

"Well I think I speak for myself when I say I think it's non of your business!" James pushed Kendall away; it didn't do much good though he was still very weak and his voice wasn't very loud either.

After that last yell James started coughing hard horrible coughs that made his ribs burn with pain. His eyes started to water and his face was turning red. Logan decided this wasn't good and told Carlos to push the nurse's button as he tried to calm James down. A doctor burst into the room and noticed his patient. He ran out of the room and came back with a needle and jabbed it into his IV bag. After a few minutes James fell asleep probably not peaceful but sleep non the less.

"What happened?" Dr. Kam asked looking at a steaming Kendall.

"Well, uh you see Kendall and James kinda got into a scream/whisper fight." Carlos explained. Dr. Kam looked at Carlos then Kendall to James and Finally Logan.

"Okay I think visiting hours are over for you three." He motioned to the door.

"But no wait..." Carlos said.

"It won't happen again." Logan tried to reassure the doctor. "Just please let us stay, please" Logan practically begged.

"Well...-sigh- fine but if anything and I mean anything like that happens again I am kicking you guys out." Dr. Kam told them sternly as he walked out shaking his head.

"YES!" Logan and Carlos said simultaneously, and high-fived each other.

Kendall just sat down and stared at the floor. What had he done; he just fought with his injured best friend. How could he be such a jerk. He just wanted to know what was up with James parents, but instead of asking in a good way he just kinda exploded. God what a horrible friend he was. First he wasn't there for James enough and then when he wants to be there he just exploded. Does James even deserve him as a friend he has never been good enough for him. Logan and Carlos looked at Kendall worry showing in their eyes. First he was fuming now he just looked upset at himself. But before they could voice there worry they heard a groan come from the bed.

"James?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah Carlos," came the whispered reply. Smiles broke out on Carlos and Logan.

"James I-I'm sorry." Kendall said without even looking up.

"I forgive you Kendall, and your right."

"I-I'm what?" came the disbelieving voice of Kendall.

"I need to tell you guys about my parents." James told them voice shaking a little.

"No James its okay if you don't want to you shouldn't have to." Kendall tried to reassure James.

"Well I want to now." James said with more confidence in his voice.

"It started when my big brother left for college..."

_**Flash back**_

"_Honey are you all packed." Came the crying voice of Mrs. Diamond_

"_Yeah mom I'm all packed. I'm ready to start my new life at Cal Poly." Aidan told his mother._

"_Oh Aidan you father and I are going to miss you so much." Hs mom said as she threw her arms around him. _

"_I'll miss you guys to but I need to do this so I can get a job and start a family of my own." Aidan tried explaining. _

"_Oh I know it's just so sad see you leave. You were so perfect."_

"_Yeah but now you have James and Shane to love mom." Aidan told her; he didn't notice the way she cringed when he mentioned their names. _

"_Um right James and Shane." Mrs. Diamond repeated. _

"_Okay well I'm going to say good bye to them okay?" He asked as he grabbed his bag of stuff, and walked out of his room to James'._

"_Bye little buddy." Aidan said as he hugged James. "It's your turn to be the man of the family now._

"_Yeah I know you have been telling me that a lot recently." James mumbled in to his big brother shoulder._

"_I know, I know it's just I'm going to miss you." Aidan said._

"_I'm going to miss you to. I wish you didn't have to go." James said as tears pricked the sides of his eyes._

"_I will see you at break and stuff." Aidan reassured as he started to leave James' room to walk to Shane's. Pretty much the same thing happened in Shane's room as it did in James'. They were just so much like each other it was scary._

_A few minutes of his mom hugging him and crying later Aidan finally left to college. It was heart breaking for his mom and his dad was "unfortunately" at work. Once his mom got into the house with her two boys she turned around and slapped James across the face._

"_I hate you." She spat "Why can't you be like Aidan, perfect along with you Shane."She was about to hit him when James jumped in front of her and got hit again. He couldn't let his brother get hurt. And so there personal hell started._

_**end flash back**_

"That's horrible." Carlos said in a daze. He couldn't believe Mrs. Diamond would do something like that. She was always so nice when she was around the boys. Logan and Kendall were in shock and could do anything.

As James was telling them his story silent tears rolled down his face; remembering Aidan and that horrible day. Of course Aidan didn't know about his parents being abusive. When he came home for the holidays they acted as a normal family.

"The real abuse started a few weeks after that." James explained.

_**Flash back**_

_James walked into his house clutching his report card. He was afraid to show it to his parents. He was getting a B+ In math one of his worst subjects. He always got confused with all the numbers, and what was supposed to go where. _

"_James honey your home." His mother said as she flittered into the living room from the kitchen. _

"_Hi mom" James said quietly._

"_Oh and I see you got your report card." She said slipping it out of his hand. " An A+ in Science, A+ in P.E, A+ in English, A+ in Choir, A+ in History, A+ in Theater Arts, And Oh what's this a B+ in math?" His mother asked calmly. At first he though his mom wasn't mad. _

"_Well you see I get kinda confused in math." James explained. _

"_WELL AIDAN NEVER GOT B+'s HE GOT STRAIGHT A'S!" Mrs. Diamond screamed._

_She whipped around and decked James right in the mouth as hard as she could. She was angry, no ferocious. She wouldn't stand for this. Once James was down she kicked him in the ribs screaming about his grades. After a few minutes of getting kick in the stomach and ribs repeatedly; she kicked him the head hard enough to knock him out. A few minutes later Shane came home and found his big brother lying on the floor completely still. He shook him just enough to rouse him and helped him up the stairs to the bathroom._

"_You know we can keep doing this." Shane said as he took the gauze out and started to wrap James bruised stomach and ribs. _

"_Yeah I know." James sighed. "But what can we do?"_

"_Tell the police." Shane recommended in a duh kind of voice. _

"_Didn't you hear mom? We tell the police we die and I don't think she was joking." James said._

"_Right," Shane sighed as he finished James ribs. "How's your head?" _

"_I think she might have given me a concussion." James said probing his head to find where she kicked him._

"_Let me see tilt your head up." Shane commanded. James did as he was told and it turned out no concussion THIS time. Shane touched James head until he found a bloody spot near the did of his head. _

"_Okay I need to wrap your head so you will have to wear a hat tomorrow." Shane told him. _

"_Yeah okay," James said wincing in pain as Shane touched the tender part again. Once he was done he handed James some pain killers and helped him off to bed. _

_**End flash back**_

"There had been times when I had to help Shane to." James said sniffing.

"Oh my god James that's just horrible." Logan commented moving over to sit on James bed. Once he did he wrapped James in a hug and they cried. Carlos and Kendall eventually joined them. They were a giant bundle of hurt and pain, and one question still remained.

"Where is Shane now?" Logan asked.

"I don't know." James sobbed even harder.

**AN: That is the end of chapter 8! So James told them about his parents and his past. There is still one question remaining where is Shane? Did they really give him up for adoption?** **Or did something else happen? Is he wandering the streets alone? Living with an aunt? You guys don't know but I do! Okay no actually I don't even know. But who's heard of Cal Poly! If you go to Cal Poly, heard of Cal Poly, or even have a friend that goes to Cal Poly REVIEW! If none of those things apply to you REVIEW ANYWAYS!**

**I would like to thank these people for review that last chapter.**

**Falling to Fly**

**2 kool 2 spell 'kool' right**

**Waffle-girl9887 (Have you ever tried ketchup on waffles?)**

**HayleeMichelle**

**You guys rock! PLUS ENYONE ELSE THAT REVIEW I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH! (In a non creepy sort of way…..yeah) –shifty eyed-**


	9. explaining

**Hello people on earth! I have UPDATED with a cruddy chapter in store for you. Sorry it's not good I feel it is very rushed but tell me what you think.**

**convo between me and big time rush**

**Deathiscoming4u: Bwahahaha I made them all sad and cry.**

**Kendall: Hey wait I don't cry in front of people!**

**Deathiscoming4u: In my storied you do! Bwahahaha**

**Kendall: Man I hate you. -Shakes head-**

**Deathiscoming4u: I don't care since James is my favorite. :)**

They all cried until James fell asleep on Kendall's shoulder; he looked so peaceful. Kendall carefully slid him off his shoulder back onto the bed with his head resting softly on the pillows.

"So what are we going to do about Shane," Carlos asked innocently as he looked at Kendall and Logan.

"I don't know Carlos, but I do know we need to tell Mrs. Knight about James parents," Logan explained with a grim expression on his face.

"I don't want to but I agree with you Logan, James can't keep living with his parents when they could do anything to him." Kendall piped in looking at James.

"Hey you guys?"

"Yeah Carlos what's up," Kendall asked looking at the short boy.

"Well you know how James came home the day his parents came and he said he got jumped," Carlos said as tears pricked his eyes. "Do you think he was lying?"

"Oh my god...," Kendall whispered with a horrified look on his face.

"You don't think...," Logan trailed off.

"That James parents did it to him," Carlos finished for Logan. "Yeah I do but what do you think?"

"I-I really don't know I guess we will have to ask him when he wakes up," Kendall butted in.

So the guys sat around and talked, watched T.V, watched the nurse check on James, talked some more, got lunch at the hospital cafeteria, and talked to an unconscious James until he finally woke up. James cracked his eyes open and again looked up into the anxious faces' of his best friends.

"Hey guy's what up," James croaked out.

"Same old same old," Carlos told him as he looked at Kendall and Logan

"Just sitting around being bored waiting for you to wake up," Kendall chuckled. James rubbed the sleep from his eyes and then looked at Logan expecting him to say something.

"Not much we just have a few questions for you."

"Oh um okay shoot, Logan," James said as he pretended to get his game face on.

"When you came home that night you go jumped...did you really get jumped?"

James was speechless. Why would they want to know something like that he wondered as he looked at the faces of his best friends. Kendall looked concerned, Logan looked a little confused, and Carlos seemed the most interested in what he had to say. James opened his mouth but nothing came out. What was he supposed to tell them? Should he tell them the truth or lie and say yeah he just got jumped. What were they thinking happened anyways; what his parents did...it...to...him. James mentally smacked himself for not noticing it earlier of course that's what they thought.

"Um not exactly," James whispered looking down. "It-it was m-my parents."

"Oh...James why didn't you tell us before," Carlos scolded with disappointment in his voice as he leaned down to give James a hug. He knew it was James' parents from the beginning okay maybe not the beginning but closeish.

"James you know we have to tell someone about this right," Logan asked looking directly into James eyes.

He could see the pain, fear, anxiety, and also an emotion Logan couldn't recognize. Relief? Was James relived someone was finally going to do something about his parents?

"Carlos I-I'm sorry I was scared and didn't want you guys to get hurt because of MY parents and yeah I know Logie, but you're going to tell them right I'm too scared to?"

"We will all tell them together," Kendall had quietly been observing the conversation before deciding that that was a good place to enter.

"That sounds like a good idea and James you know we would never think any different of you for anything that you or someone else did right. I just wish you had come to us sooner rather than later," Carlos told the bed ridden boy.

"That would probably have been smarter, huh," James asked sheepishly unconsciously rubbing his fore arm up and down.

"Uhhh duh," Carlos practically screamed as he threw his arms up in the air.

"Hey James can i ask you one more question," Logan asked slowly leaning forward more towards James.

"Yeah sure what?"

"Your arms...the doctor said there were...cut's on them," Logan spoke as if uncertain to bring up the subject. "A-are you a uh a... c-cutter." It was hard to get the words out.

Kendall and Carlos suddenly got more interested as they remembered the doctor bringing that up. They were so caught up on James being okay AND being abused that they had forgotten.

"I err umm...," James sighed there was no use hiding it anymore. "Yeah."

"But why James?" They all asked simultaneously.

"It was all just too much it was the only way to relive the stress," James explained not looking up.

"Again you could have easily come to us James," Logan told him. "Do you just not trust us or something?" They all had a hurt look in their eyes.

"NO, no it's not that...I was embarrassed," James admitted. "You guy's all have great parents. Kendall your mom is just soo sweet and caring, Carlos your dad would do anything for you, and Logan your parents were always supportive of you. but mine were none of those things once Aidan left."

"James I...we...we're sorry you felt that way," Kendall told him as he looked at all of his friends. "If I could go back in time and somehow fix this I would, but I can't so I will fix this now. I'm going to call my mom and ask her to come down here." Kendall was about to walk out of the room but then James spoke.

"Kendall, Carlos, Logan it's not your fault and there was nothing you could have done and I can tell it's not just Kendall blaming himself you guys are too so don't pretend you aren't," James spoke looking at Carlos and Logan. "I don't want ANY of you guy's to blame yourself. If you're going to blame someone blame me because I need to be blamed for this mess."

"James it's not your fault we should have noticed sooner," Carlos looked ashamed.

"NO," James practically burst. "If it's not my fault and it's defiantly not your guy's fault then it's no one's but my parents."

"Yeah okay fine but we still need to tell someone," Carlos mumbled under his breath and sat down. Kendall walked out of the room to make the call and Logan grabbed James hand.

"You are absolutely right James," Logan told him rubbing James hand. "We will make sure your parents can never hurt you again okay." But by the time Logan was done James had dosed off the events of the day tiring him out.

Kendall walked in then and noticing James asleep whisper "my mom will be here soon and we can get everything straightened out.

**I feel this was rushed what do you think? Aww James was embarrassed by his parents, but then again who isn't. Haha. Anyways I am totally not liking this chapter and next chapter will be the boys telling Mrs. Knight about the abuse and Shane gone missing. I know where e is but you guys don't! HAHA. REVIEW IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE SHANE IS!**


	10. Learning a lot today

**Okay short chapter sorry about that. I probably wont be able to update for about 10 days. Sorry about that but I am leaving to California. But if I get internet at the one of the hotel's I'm staying at I will try to update. **

Mrs. Knight was running through her house quickly gathering her purse and shoes. She had to get to the hospital quick, but she also had to get a baby sitter for Katie. Who could she get Bitters, Jo, maybe Camille. Aha she liked Camille so she'll ask her. She quickly picked up her cell phone as she ran down the hall to the elevator.

"Hey Camille can you watch Katie for me," Mrs. Knight asked right as Camille answered.

"Oh um sure thing Mrs. Knight what's wrong you sound horrible?" It was true Mrs. Knight was close to tears. Kendall's message wasn't very informative and he just told her to get down here as fast as possible. So obviously she thought something was really wrong.

"Oh it's nothing much Camille just a problem with James," Mrs. Knight sighed.

"Wait what's wrong with James?"

"Oh I guess you don't know do you? James was hit by a car and was rushed to the hospital last night," Mrs. Knight told Camille as tears started sliding down her face.

"Oh my god is-is he okay?"

"That's what I'm going to see, I will talk to you later Camille bye."

Mrs. Knight got into her car and drove like a maniac to get to the hospital. Once there she sprinted up to James room remembering the room number from when she visited before. She pushed open the door and walked in to see James sleeping and his friends watching T.V.

"Kendall," Mrs. Knight asked walking over to him.

"Mom you made it."

"Yeah what's wrong everything looks fine," She asked looking around the room. She thought something was terribly by the way Kendall sounded on the phone.

"Well um mom we need to tell you something about James," Kendall's words cracked at the end of his sentence.

"Kendall baby what's wrong you're scaring me."

"Well mom it's about James parents. They-they have been umm….Logan you finish," Kendall looked to Logan with pleading eyes.

"They have been abusing him for years and we just learned about it now," Logan finished looking at the ground.

Mrs. Knight gasped and put her hand to her mouth. Tears again started slipping down her flushed cheeks. She could believe it true she never really cared for the Diamonds but never would she think they would something so in human.

"Are-are you sure?"

Logan looked up to meet Mrs. Knight's eyes. "He told us himself."

James was awake the whole time feigning sleep. He wanted to say something but didn't know what's so he just laid there listening.

"James honey you awake," Mrs. Knight asked putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. James groaned and opened his eyes.

"Yeah I'm awake Mrs. Knight."

"Did your parents really hurt you," Mrs. Knight asked as gently as she could.

James rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. "Well um yeah Kinda…."

"Why didn't you tell anybody?"

"Because I was afraid to it's not something that we would really talk about on a daily bases. 'Oh hey Kendall what's up so you wanna talk about child abusers today?"

"James honey you could have told anyone and it would have been fine," Mrs. Knight told him.

"I already had this conversation with the guys and yeah I know but I didn't now can we drop it," James asked with annoyance in his voice.

"Sure honey but we do need to tell the police about this," Mrs. Knight said with a serious tone in her voice.

"We know mom, but there is one more thing we need to tell you," Kendall joined the conversation. "Shane James' little brother has gone missing."

"Oh no, no, no, not him please tell me not him." Mrs. Knight was babbling as tears spilled out her eyes. How many times has she cried today?

"James don't worry I will try to find him for you okay and we will find your parents too," Mrs. Knight didn't want Shane to be scared or wandering the streets and James parents belonged behind bars.

"Thank you Mrs. Knight," Was all James could say he was afraid for his brother where could he be. Was he okay?

As James was thinking all this his phone started to go off. He snapped out of his trance and answered it. He didn't know who it was but all he heard was crying and pleading to be saved. It sounded kinda like…..Shane.

**I feel terrible for doing that ending. But who cares because now you guys are freakin out now. So anyone know where Shane is? Haha I just Kinda randomly added that part sooo. Anyways Mr5s. Knight knows about it now and is going to tell the police. YAY! Who wants to review to make sure Shane is okay!1**


	11. Do we know where Shane is?

**Authors note: Ello my peeps. I AM UPDATING! I'm sorry for the delay, but like so many other fan fiction writers it's school that got in the way. I FAILED *sniff* my math test horribly! It made me feel really stupid. So then I had to go to after school tutoring and all that. So I didn't have time to update. Oh and I read some of my earlier chapters and wow are they really bad. I am a horrible writer, because in one I, for some reason, put Matthew as the older brother's name. I don't know, but whatever. I also forgot to mention James' leg is broken so just remember that! I am such a horrible writer. Anyways on with the crap I call a story. HAHAHAHAHAH!**

**Deathiscomg4u: HAHAH Carlos you will never catch me!**

**Carlos: shiver me timbers I found gold!**

**Deathiscoming4u: Really let me see?**

**Carlos: Ha got you. -Grabs me-**

**Deathiscoming4u: AAAAHHHH NOOO HELP SAVE ME. NOOOOOO!**

"SHANE! Shane where are you? Shane, talk to me!" James yelled into the phone. He was having a small spasm attack in his head.

"I..James I need you to help me. Please just come back and help me." Shane sobbed into the phone.

"Okay, okay Shane I will. Just tell me where you are and I promise I will help. I…I will save you from those people Shane, I will." James couldn't help but notice everyone staring at him.

"Um you remember those people whose house we would go over to when mom and dad had to go somewhere?" Shane asked. James nodded his head, but then realized Shane couldn't see him and choked out a "Yeah, the babysitters."

"I-I'm there at their house. They adopted me when mom and dad put me up for adoption, after, after you…left. James they put me up for adoption. H-how could they do that? How could you _let _them. I-I just want to go home. Please James come help me qui-" Shane was cut off and the line went dead.

"SHANE! SHANE ANSWER ME DARNIT!" James all but practically screamed into the phone.

James then started to get out of bed, but his friends stopped him.

"Whoa where do you think you're going?" Kendall asked him as he carefully pushed James back on the bed.

"I'm going to Minnesota." James replied as he tried to get out of Kendall's hold.

"Not in that condition you aren't." Logan stated.

"James, honey what's wrong? What happened?" Kendall's mom asked as she put a hand on James' shoulder.

"It-it's Shane he called me, and asked me to help him." James started to cry knowing Shane was hurt and he couldn't help him.

"Where is he James? What's happened to him?" Mrs. Knight was trying to get as much information as she could out of him.

"He's in Minnesota, and I don't know what's happened to him he was crying and asking to be saved and then the line went dead, cutting him off." James quickly replied looking frantic.

"Okay I'm gonna call the police." Mrs. Knight said walking out of the room.

"You guys we need to go get my brother I promised him I would save him." James cried out.

"We know your worried, James. We are too, but you can't help your brother in the condition you're in. I mean look at you. You have a broken leg, a gash in the other; you have a broken arm, and a concussion. You expect to be able to save your brother like this?" Logan stated none to friendly.

"I…but he, and I, we, or I mean." James was flabbergasted. He knew he was in bad shape, but he never expected Logan to point everything out so…..bluntly. At that time Mrs. Knight walked back into the room.

"Well I reported your brother to the police; they said their going to talk to the police in our old town." Mrs. Knight told the boys.

"Wait how did you know the names of our babysitters?" James asked confused.

"Oh I didn't I just told them the last people to adopt Shane." Mrs. Knight said eyes downcast. "Well I better check on Katie, you boys will be alright here by yourselves right?

"Yeah mom we will, I mean it's us." Kendall told her.

"That's what I'm worried about." She mumbled under her breath.

"Just trust us for once, oh and mom?"

"Yes Kendall?"

"Call me when you get home and tell me how Katie's doing, okay?" Kendall asked quietly.

"Sure thing sweet pea will do." And with that she left the room.

The boy sat in silence thinking about everything that had happened that day. It was really too much to take in, and it seemed that too much had happened for it to be in only one day. Their best friend's parents come, their best friend gets abused by said parents, and they learn that James' parents were in jail, then James gets hit by a car, they learn James started cutting and that his little brother is with devil parents. What a fun day.

"Hey Logan how long does it take for a broken leg to heal?" James suddenly asked out into the quiet.

"Oh well um if I understand correctly about your leg it should take about 6-8 weeks, but you will be able to walk before then. Why do ask?"

"I was just wondering. Is there any way to speed up the healing process?" James asked looking at his leg with a hint of anger. Kinda like… he was mad at it for breaking.

"Well I have read a few things online about it, but it depends on where you broke it. Like you had a spiral fracture which isn't really breaking your leg, but fracturing it. You will probably be in a fiber glass cast for about 2 weeks and use a walker of crutches to get around. Then after two weeks are up they will put you in a walking boot and you can put weight on it, but if you want to speed up the healing process well, you will need to start exercising it as soon as possible,you might want to speak to your doctor about that, and there are certain foods you can eat. Other than that you just have to wait, James." Logan told him everything he knew.

"Okay thanks Logan. I knew you were good for something." James said smirking.

"HEY! I'm good for other stuff to." Logan complained in a huff. "Aren't I?"

"Don't worry Logan you good for other stuff. James was just trying to get you mad."

"So when do I get out of here anyways?" James asked from the bed.

Kendall looked to Carlos who in turn looked to Logan and Logan just shrugged. Kendall looked back to Carlos who turned to James and shrugged, again. James sighed and fell back onto the bed, but then quickly realized that was a bad idea as his head pounded painfully. He let out a low groan not being able to keep it in. Instantly his friends were at his side asking if he was okay.

"Yeah," was all James managed to get out between clenched teeth.

"Should we call a doctor?" Kendall asked.

"No I-I'm fine just shouldn't have fallen back so fast. H-hit my head on the pillow to hard caused a huge head ache." James quickly explained as the pain started to loosen up.

"Okay, but tell us if you need a doctor." Carlos said.

"Actually what I need is to PEE!" James yelled Realizing he really had to go.

"How are you gonna do that?" Carlos asked puzzled.

"I don't know. I guess if someone helped me to the bathroom and waited outside…." James trailed off.

"I don't think that's a good idea, why don't we just call the doctor and ask him what to do." Logan suggested as he pushed the call button.

Soon the doctor was in the room with his clip bored and white lab coat.

"Yes, how is everything going? Are you in pain do you need more pain pills?" Dr. Kam asked.

"No, none of that. We were just wondering how James was supposed to go to the bathroom." Kendall told the doctor.

"Oh well just one of you guys need to help him and tomorrow we will see if he is able to handle crutches what with the gash in his leg." Dr. Kam said pointing to James' left thigh.

"Okay, I guess I will do it since I'm the 2nd biggest person here." Kendall volunteered.

He walked over to James and helped him get to the edge of the bed with his legs dangling down. Carlos and Logan were hovering around then just in case they were needed. Kendall draped James uninjured arm over his shoulders and gently pulled James up. Once James put weight on his left leg he hissed in pain, but then slowly relaxed. His leg hurt for a few seconds, but he soon got used the little sting of the stitches pulling in his leg. Kendall helped him hobble over to the bathroom and got him to the toilet where he said he could take it from there and ushered Kendall out. They soon heard the flush of a toilet and the door opened soon after. Kendall got in the same position as before and they slowly made their way back to the bed.

"Okay that was the most trouble I have ever had getting to the bathroom." James complained.

"Well hopefully you will only need us until tomorrow to get to the bathroom." Logan told him chuckling a little.

"Yeah and then I can get out of here hopefully." James flipped his hair and leaned back in the bed to catch a few Z's

**Authors note: Heehee well I hope you won't kill me for leaving you with that cliffy and then not updating. I really did want to update, but my school life (the only life I have) got in the way. All because of that really stupid test, but anyways updates will come easier once the month of April is up. I have state testing on Monday and Tuesday and then I have it the 28 and 29. Then I'm finished with school and can just mess around in my classes MUAHAHAHAH! I also have some very depressing news to share with you. Big Time Rush is performing at the California state fair in Paso Robles and I used to live 4 hours away from there, but then last summer I moved to Texas. I could have seen them if I hadn't moved. I'm very sad now. Okay anyways bye have fun!**


	12. Healing process

**A/N Hello everybody I'm Back and with a new chapter. Sorry I didn't update yesterday like I had planned. Fanfiction wouldn't let me log in. So I am going to try to update every other day some days I might update every day, but yeah. This chapter might not be the best because I don't know that much about how doctors do stuff. I looked stuff up and it didn't give me very much to work umm anyways ENJOY!  
**

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**Deathiscoming4u: Okay Carlos ninja time!**

**Carlos: Fine but IIIIIII get the swords.**

**Deathiscoming4u: Fine alright.**

**Carlos: Okay turn on the Teenage mutant ninja turtles theme song and let's get this started!**

**Deathiscoming4u: Yeah! *Carlos swings his swords* *I ninja roll out of the way***

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The next morning found everyone asleep ,except James, Kendall and Carlos were spread out on the little couch in the corner, and Logan fell asleep in the chair next James' bed with his head laying on the bed. For whatever reason James just couldn't sleep. He knew he needed it, and he knew he was going to look horrible when the other Big Time Rush members woke up, but he just couldn't sleep! It was driving him mad. Right when he was about to scream the doctor walked in, waking the other boys.

"Good morning James, how are you feeling today?" Dr. Kam asked politely.

"I'm okay, didn't sleep every well last night, but other than that I'm ready to start the day." Lie. James wasn't ready to start the day and James didn't get ANY sleep last night.

"good, good. Now are you in any…pain, or do you feel uncomfortable at all?" Dr. Kam questioned.

"Nope I feel fine just, maybe a little sore." James answered truthfully.

"Well that's to be expected. Now we are going to start you out on crutches for your leg and then in a few weeks we will put you in a walking boot, and you can walk on that. As for your leg you seemed to be doing fine on it yesterday so I trust it can hold your weight, am I correct?"

"Um yeah, it stung a little bit, but I think that's because I was pulling the stitches." James blurted out.

"Okay well that's good. So here are your crutches." The doctor said handing him a pair of green crutches.

"Wait, they have colored crutches?" Carlos asked. As he quickly grabbed them examining them to make sure they were real. He didn't want anyone playing a trick on him.

"Oh um well, yes they do and I figured you might like some color after being stuck in this very boring, very white hospital room." Dr. Kam replied with a little chuckle at the end.

"Thanks I do like them, and CARLOS GIVE ME MY CRUTCHES!" James yelled at the little Latino who was hold the crutch right over Logan's head ready to bop him.

"Fine," Carlos muttered, and it looked like he was going to put the crutch down, but then he quickly bopped Logan on the head, threw the crutches at James and ran into the bathroom locking the door.

"CARLOS," Logan yelled as he helped get the crutches off of James.

"Oww that really hurt." James said rubbing his stomach where the crutches hit him.

"Sorry James." You could hear Carlos' muffled apology.

"I'm not forgiving you." James yelled back playfully.

"Okay, okay enough we need to get back to what I came in here for." Dr. Kam replied laughing at the boys antics. "Okay I need Kendall to help James stand up and Logan you stay near in case James starts to fall. Now take it slowly, you need to get used to the crutches."

Kendall helped James get to the side of the bed and then James grabbed the crutches and put them under his arms. He slowly started to rise putting a little of his weight on his leg and the crutches, so for the most part it was evenly distributed. Once he was in a fully standing position he swung the crutches forwards and was about to swing his body, but then he cried out in pain and pitched forward only to have Kendall catch him.

"James, James what's wrong. What happened?" Kendall cried out as he helped James to the bed.

"I-I'm sorry it w-was my ribs…" James gasped. "I moved wrong, and then I felt a sharp pain. But I think I'm ready to try it again."

"What, no you're not. You're doubled over gasping for breath! How could say something like that." Logan said. It was quite unusual for him to say something like this. It was… out of character for him.

"I think Logan's right." Kendall said. "Maybe we should just try some other time, like when you're feeling a little more up to it." "

"No, I want to try it again." James said stubbornly.

Kendall and Logan looked towards the doctor questioningly because truthfully it was really up to him. James then turned his head to gaze at the doctor also.

"Well um it's really up to James. If he is really feeling up to this and he things he can do it then let him try again. James?"

"I-I wanna try it again, please." Jams said quietly, but you could hear the determination in his voice.

Once again Kendall helped James stand up and Logan was hovering close by, but there was one change about this scene. James was walking on crutches. He actually managed to do it. It was slow going at first, but then he made it out into the hallway and was steadily going faster and faster. There was only one problem with this. Everyone was so happy with James being able to walk, even Carlos who came out of the bathroom only to be clobbered by a Logan was happy, but walking on crutches can easily tier someone out. Especially someone in James state and half way back to his room James stopped. He just couldn't go any longer he HAD to rest.

"James, you okay buddy?" Carlos asked eye James.

"Yeah, I just forgot how tiring it can be walking on crutches." James panted.

"Don't worry were almost there just a few more crutches." Carlos joked trying to get James mind off of his draining energy.

And soon enough they made it back into the room. James had Kendall help him back into bed and one of the nurses brought him breakfast. This consisted of runny eggs, over cooked bacon, and toast with jelly. James only ate the toast.

"So when do I get out of here doc?" James asked.

"Well you seem to be doing fairly good so I would say in a day or two, three tops."

Then all the guys cheered and hugged and made it all cliché on purpose. Once they were done and the doctor left Kendall, Carlos, and Logan all went down to the Hospital cafeteria to see if they could eat anything. Much to James' persuasion.

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**A/N Okay sooo I know not much happened in this chapter and it was kinda short. Filler chapter. I tried to make it kinda funny and add a smiggin of angst. Yay recipe talk! Um I hope this Chapter was okay. I tried to look up doctery things it didn't really help. So hopefully I got some stuff right. Thanks for reading, and next chapter should be up soon! THANKS!**


	13. Protectors

**AN: Ello! So before you want to kill me with pitch forks and what not I would like to apologize. I'm sorry this chapter was so late. I had writers block. I would try to write something then end up hating it and delete it all. I was starting to become hopeless when I got the idea of a nightmare. Also this is not beta-ed so sorry for the mistakes. So this was created I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: Meh no owny big time rush. D:**

**Warning: Part of the nightmare gets a little gross. It's not that bad really, so if you don't want to read this chapter you don't have to you can just skip it and it won't be confusing.**

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He was in a dark room. That much he could figure out. He wasn't sure if he was awake or still dreaming. It must be a dream, but it felt so real. He didn't know where he was. He was just, somewhere. He was afraid to get up just in case someone else was with him in the room. Then again he couldn't just sit there, he had to do something.

So he then called out. "H-Hello?"

No answer.

"Anyone there."

Then he heard it. It sounded like a small whimper, or a cry. It sounded vaguely familiar, but he just couldn't place it. He looked around trying to see through the pitch black hoping to catch a glimpse of the other person in the room.

"Are you okay," dumb question. Of course they weren't their crying.

Then he heard it again. That whimper cry. It was closer. Was the person moving around?

"Hello," he called again.

Still no answer. He was starting to get a little annoyed. He knew someone was in here with him, but they wouldn't answer any of his calls. He finally decided to get up and try to find a light switch. He ran his hand along the wall, but could find nothing that resembled a light switch. He did however; find out how big the room was. It wasn't very big maybe 5" by 4". Close to size of an average bedroom. As he was walking around the room he never once bumped into the other person. Where they sitting in the middle of the room? Deciding that he wanted to meet this other person he started to make is way to the middle. Before he could however the lights turn on blinding him temporarily. While he was trying to regain his vision he felt something wet and kinda warm seep into the bottom of his pant leg and it was slowly rising.

He blinked a few time to get rid of the colors dancing in front of his face then he looked down. It was blood, tons and tons of blood. It was filling the room. He looked around for a way out, but then spotted a figure in the middle of the room. He looked to be a young boy no more than Shane's age. James started to make his way over to the little boy thinking about helping escape. When he got him he put his hand of the boys shoulder. He didn't really get a reaction just a small flinch. The boy just sat there with his head down not acknowledging James one bit. The blood was up to James calf. He needed to get them out of here soon or they would drown. _In blood_. James shivered at the thought and then shook the boy. That only ended up in the boy mumbling something James couldn't make out. He kneeled down so he could hear what they boy was saying better.

"Please, please don't hurt me. I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Please don't hit me. I- I didn't mean it."

James was puzzled. He didn't do anything top the boy except shake him a little, and why would he hurt the boy? He didn't even know who he was. As James was pondering this the boy's voice was getting louder.

"Don't! Please, please don't hurt me! James! James, please help me! James I-I need you, please!"

James' head snapped down to look at the boy, and the boy was looking back. His face was a nasty rainbow of bruises and blood. His lip was cut and his nose had a trail of blood running out of it. There was blood at the corners of the boy's mouth. James had to look at the boy a little bit before he noticed that it was Shane. His Shane, his little brother. The same exact little brother that need him right now that he couldn't help because he was stuck in a dang hospital.

"S-Shane," James whispered.

"No!"

The sudden outburst made James jump back a little bit. Then the skin of Shane's face started to peel away and fall into the pool of blood that was still growing. What was underneath was frightening. It wasn't Muscles and bone. It was James' mother. She shed of the rest of Shane's skin and then started to stumble over to James cackling evilly. James started to back up, but soon realized he had no more room to back up. His back was pressed up against the wall. He was trapped. He looked to the left and then to the right. There was no way out of this. No door, window, secret passage way. Soon his mom was right in front of him her nose almost touching his.

"It's too late Jamie my boy. You couldn't save him this time," then she was gone like she had never even been there.

"If only you were faster you might have made it in time," James looked to his left and saw his dad.

"James, why didn't you save me? What didn't you save me Jamie," it was Shane on his right.

Tears where running down his face by now. Why wasn't he fast enough? Why did he have to be hit by that car? If he had never been hit that dumb car he could be on his way to Minnesota right now to save his little brother.

"Why did you get hit by that car?" James looked forward to see his mom again. "I mean who would want to hit you with a car, Jamie?

James looked down in thought. "You. You. You where the one that hit me!"

It all became sense now. His parents knew it was matter of time before Shane called him for help so they were sitting outside of the Palm Woods thinking of a plan to get rid of him when they found their window of opportunity. Unfortunately he lived through their little plot to get rid of him.

"Very good James. You finally figured it out." His mom sounded like she was talking to a two year old. "We were also trying to get rid of you that day we took you our 'Hotel.' Unfortunately that failed as well. So you better watch out Jamie because we will be trying to get rid of you as much as we can." Then with that she just disappeared.

James stood there for a second trying to process everything his mother had just told him when he felt something nudge his leg. He looked down and saw the dead body of his little brother. He screamed and tried to run away but the dead hand was gripping his leg in a vise like grip. Then the room started to fill faster. The blood was up to his chest then to his head. Soon he was swimming in it trying to keep his head about the blood. It was to no avail because soon the whole room was filled with blood and James was slowly drowning in what he realized was supposed to be his little brothers blood. He was holding his breath, but couldn't any long and took a huge breath of blood.

* * *

James gasped and shot up in bed. That nightmare was so really. He took a minute to catch his breath and then realized his friends were watching him in concern. He straightened up when he realized he was hunched over and it was hurting his ribs.

"James are you alright," Logan asked as he rubbed his hand up and down James back hope to create some comfort in the movement.

"I-I okay. It was just a really, really, bad nightmare," James explained catching his breath.

'Do you wanna talk about it," Kendall suggested.

James sighed and looked down. "It was about my little brother. I was locked in this room and it was dark. I kept hearing this sound kinda like a crying whimper. When I finally realized where it was coming from the lights turned on, but they were bright they blinded me for a second. Then the room started to fill with….._blood_. _Shane's blood_. I looked around for a second and saw a figure in the middle of the room so I walked over to it. He started to mumble something and his voice started to get louder and louder. He was saying stuff like "please don't hit me, please." He was mostly begging, but then he said my name. He was begging me to come help him. I wanted to. I really did I just didn't know how!"

James was practically sobbing at this point.

"Shh, James it's alright. It wasn't really. Calm down. His friends tried to sooth.

"No, you guys don't understand," James screamed. "It wasn't Shane. It was my mom pretending to be Shane. She told me I was too late. She told me Shane was already gone. She…..She told me she was trying to kill me."

His friends gasped.

"She told me she was the one that hit me with the car. I-I think she was telling the truth. Before-before I got hit I saw the driver. Not very good of course, but she looked a lot like my mom and there was a guy in the passenger seat I would assume he was my dad."

James was having trouble breathing by now and if he was still hooked up to the heart monitor it would probably be going crazy.

"You guys what happens if we arrive to late to rescue Shane," James asked. "What if were too late like in my dream? What will we do then?"

"Don't worry James we wont be to late. I promise," Kendall told him getting this hard look in his eyes.

"W-will you let my parents hurt me anymore?"

The question shocked all of his friends. it was such a powerful question yet the way James asked it he sounded like a small child.

"No James. I will never let your parents lay a single hand on you. I will protect you I promise,"

"We do too," Carlos piped up gesturing to Logan and him. Logan nodded to confirm that he would do that same.

James buried his head into Carlos' chest and fell asleep. His friends thought about how they were going to protect James from his parents. His parents were trying to _kill_ him.

**AN: I hope the nightmare wasn't that bad. I needed it be kinda horrifying. Anyways the next chapter will be about what's going on, on Shane's side. I can't wait! :D I hope you're not too mad about how late the chapter was. And umm if you wanted to you could just drop a quick review! :D**


	14. Shane's pain

**AN: Sooo here is the chapter with Shane in it. I hope you enjoy it and sorry it was a little late. :D**

**Convo between me and Big Time Rush.**

**Logan: Soo *sniff* were not in this Chapter? At all?**

**Me: Not really unless you count a reference about James. **

**Logan: No I don't count that! I thought that whole reason of FanFiction was to write about the characters in TV shows.** **Neither Shane nor Jessica are in our TV show. **

**Me: I know, but they are in my story and you just shut up about it or I will give you grape juice. **

* * *

I woke up in a dark room, with a headache. I wasn't sure where I was and I couldn't remember anything. I tried to look around the room but it was just too dark. I also couldn't really turn my head it hurt too much. The floor was hard and kinda damp, but I still couldn't figure out where I was. I tried to remember what happened before I woke up here, but my memory was all fuzzy. I sighed. This was impossible. So instead of trying to figure out where I was or what had happened I decided to call out and see if anyone else was in here with me.

"'Ello."

My voice was raspy, and my tongue felt like it was three times bigger than it was supposed to be. It hurt my head to talk and my mouth was really dry. I opened and closed my mouth a few times trying to work some saliva into it. I looked around a little more when I didn't get an answer. Then I heard a door open above me, and a bright light flooded the room I was in. I winced as the light hit my retinas, but at the same time I got a good look around the room. It was pretty bare. There was a table in one corner with two chairs. There was a blanket and a pretty worn out pillow sitting on top of the table. The walls were an ugly grayish color with water dribbling down the wall I was facing there were also a few cracks here and there. I tried to look up, and I got a glimpse of a stair case. Then I heard someone walking down the stairs. I started to panic. I didn't know who was walking down the stairs. I didn't know what would happen when they found me. I didn't know what they would do, but I didn't get to think about it for very long because soon they were standing right in front of me. I slowly looked up at their face, or what I could see of it. They had long black hair that was covering most of it.

"Oh look your finally awake," they said there voice was kinda gravely. Like they were a daily smoker.

"Who….who are you," I asked

"Aww you don't remember me? What a shame we used to be the best of friends," the woman replied with a snappy sarcastic tone.

Then I realized who she was. She was our old baby sitter! How could I not recognize her? Then again she has changed a lot. her voice used to be pretty and her hair used to be short and red.

"Jessica,"

"That's right you little runt, but guess what? I'm not just Jessica to you anymore now you call me Master."

"Oh really and why would I do that," I spat at her.

"Because you _belong _to me now, " she told me. "After your parents decided to give you up I told them I would take you in."

"Imagine the surprise on their faces," She laughed. "Anyways, this will be your room from now on and you will get one meal a day. Is that understood? Also you will do anything I tell you to do, Okay? Good."

She then turned on her heals and walked out of the basement leaving me alone bathed in darkness once again. What was I suppose to do now? I looked around realizing my eyes were adjusting to the darkness. I could kinda make out the table and one of the chairs. I looked around a little more and realized there was a bucket in another corner. I sure hope that not what I think it's for. I glanced back at the chairs, well at least I have something better to sit on than the ground. Then I shivered. It was damp and really cold in the basement so I decided I would get up and grab the blanket off the table. Easier said than done, let me tell you. Once I started to push up off the ground and got in a standing position my legs felt like jiggly Jell-O. I slowly took one step forward and then another. Slowly my legs started to feel stronger. I finally made it to the table and collapsed onto one of the chairs. That was harder than I though. How long was I out? How long was I sitting on that floor? I grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around my shoulders. It was kind of soft and defiantly warm, I snuggled deeper into it. Now, how was I going to get out of here? I suppose I will just have to wait until I get my strength back, and maybe I will be able to overpower her. I was pretty big for my age, but for now I will just follow all her rules and maybe try to get on her good side. Just so I can escape easier. I hope she had a good side.

* * *

As Shane was thinking about escape plans he slowly drifted off to sleep. Hopefully peaceful, but with all the trouble in his life right now it was doubtful. Now, his 'master' Jessica was in the kitchen making herself a little snack smirking and thinking about how much fun she was going to have with her new little toy. She remembered all the good times she used to have with his brother. Stupid boy always protecting his little brother, getting in the way of the blows aimed for Shane. James. God he was an annoying little brat. Always taking the hits never letting his little brother get hurt. it ticked her off, big time. Now though, now she will get her revenge. James wasn't here to protect his little Shaney-poo. Thinking about him made her wonder if he knew about his little brother's predicament, and if he did was he going to come out here and help him? If he did what was she going to do then? Stupid boy going away and leaving your poor little brother to fend for himself. Maybe he wouldn't come after all; he left his little brother in the first place. Doesn't that mean he doesn't care about him anymore?

She walked into her living room and sat down on her nice plump sofa. She then grabbed her favorite book. Medieval torture methods. She smiled and laughed cruelly thinking about who these will be used on. She knew she was going to be having fun these next few days. She opened it to one of her favorite chapters and started reading. As she read on she made a mental list of everything she would need for her task.

* * *

**AN: Alright. I know it's kinda shorter than the others, but this one is about Shane. I hope you like it and I hope you hate Jessica just as much as I do. Thanks for reading this chapter. :D**


	15. Out of The Hospital

**A/N: *hides from angry people and pitch forks* I know, I know. It's been MONTHS! MONTHS since I updated. I feel completely, utterly, horrible. I bet you also hate me. I know I do. I'm sorry it's just school started again and I'm in a play! So that takes a lot of my time away. Also one of my classes is theater arts this year and we do a lot of mini plays in there so I also have that occupying my time. Oh, and I have an honors class! Hmm…excuses, excuses is probably what you're thinking and yeah they are. I'm soooo sorry! I will try my absolute hardest to get the next chapter up soon! **

** Convo between Big Time Rush and me. **

**Deathiscoming4u: Did you guys miss me?**

**Guys: WHERE DID YOU GO!**

**Deathiscoming4u: Umm…Nowhere. I've just been busy.**

**Guys: *starts chasing me with pitch forks and torches* **

It was the day James finally got to go home. He was so ecstatic that he was bouncing up and down as he sat on the bed with a huge smile on his face. He was feeling almost one hundred percent better after a six and a half week stay and he just wanted to get out of this hospital to go back home. Sure his ribs still hurt once in a while and the casts on his arm and leg were irritating, and the healing gash on his thigh hurt once in a while, but if you saw him you would think he was the happiest man in the world. Then Mrs. Knight walked in.

"Okay James, are you ready to go?"

James nodded dramatically and practically yelled, "Yes."

"Alright then come on buddy," Carlos exclaimed helping James into a wheelchair.

He didn't really need it, but it was hospital rules. Every patient that had to stay 24 hours had to leave in a wheelchair. James grumbled earlier that day about how unfair it was. Once James was comfortably situated they headed out of his room to the parking lot. Mrs. Knight ran ahead to pull the van around to the front. Kendall and Logan helped James into the front of the van while Carlos returned the wheelchair.

The drive to the Palm Wood's was a short one and quiet too. Everyone lost in their own thought. James was nervous about going back. Everyone knew about the way his parents treated him, it was on the news a couple days ago. He was surprised Carlos, Logan, and Kendall had stayed with him as long as they had. He was dirty, tainted, unwanted by even his own parents. Why would they want to stay friends with him if even his parents wanted to get rid of him? _It's because they feel sorry for you._ A voice in the back of James' head told him_. They know no one else will want you, they know that if they threw you out like everyone else in your life you would have nowhere to go._ James knew the voice was right nobody would want someone as messed up as he was. He was just waiting for the day that his friends would get tired of pretending to like him and get rid of him. He felt guilty making his friends like him, and keep him. The farther away from the hospital they got and the closer to the Palm Woods they drove James felt guiltier and guiltier.

When the Palm Woods came into sight all the people in the van could see was a swarm of people. Some had cameras, others had microphones. James internally groaned. Not the paparazzi, not now. Apparently the other part of Big Time Rush had noticed because they started yelling stuff about stupid paparazzi and bad timing. Once Mrs. Knight had pulled into her parking spot she quickly got out and started to push the paparazzi away. The other guys hopped out immediately and helped James out. Once he emerged from the car the paparazzi went insane.

"JAMES! JAMES OVER HERE! "

"James is it true that you're parents abused you?"

"JAMES! Was it you're parents that hit you with the car?"

"JAMES IS IT TRUE YOU'RE LITTLE BROTHER DIED BY THE HAND'S OF YOUR PARENTS?"

James quickly became disorientated by all the yelling flashing of camera lights. Some tried to grab his arms to they could take to him others got right in front of him. Yes, James was used to the paparazzi, but he was used to the paparazzi focusing on all of them. This time it was just him they wanted. Just him they want to dish on and embarrass. Just him for all their gossipy lies. Just him. They finally barged into the lobby with Mrs. Knight and Katie right behind them where Mr. Bitters promptly locked the door so the reporters couldn't get in.

Mrs. Knight shot Mr. Bitters a thankful smile as they all bustled into the elevators. James' leg was throbbing along with his ribs. All this fast walking and getting pushed around was not fun. Once they were all in the elevator and it started to move up James let out a sigh of relief and leaned on the wall. He was tired and sore, and all around upset. He just wanted to go into his room and lie down.

"How are you feeling James?" Logan in inquired.

Leave it Logan to ask a question like that. Did he even really care, or was he just asking because he felt it was the right thing to do

"I'm fine," Was James' clipped answer.

"Are you sure? You look a little pale," Logan pressed on.

"I said I was fine just a little tired."

Why was Logan pressing the matter so much? He didn't even care.

When the elevator stopped James was the first one out. He quickly got to the door and waited for Mrs. Knight to unlock it.

They all bustled into apartment 2J right behind James.

"Alright will you guys be okay by you're selves while Katie and I got pick up some pizza for dinner?" Mrs. Knight asked.

All of the boys nodded their head as Mrs. Knight and Katie walked out.

Once they were gone James announced.

"I'm going to bed."

Everyone looked a little confused.

"But it's only 6:30? Don't you want dinner?" Kendall asked with a hint of concern in his voice.

James ignored the concern and replied a little too harsh. "Like I said before I'm tired, and I'm not hungry. I'll eat something later."

Kendall was taken aback by how harsh James sounded, but he continued.

"James you should probably eat something and then go to bed. It would be better for you."

"Why do you care?" James screamed. "You never cared!"

Logan and Carlos joined Kendall. "What do you mean?"

"I'm dirty and tainted. Why would you want to be my friend?"

"James, you're neither dirty nor tainted. You're our friend and we love you no matter what," Logan told the tall injured boy.

_If they really cared about you would they have noticed the abuse sooner? Wouldn't they have noticed back in Minnesota? _The voice in James' head asked menacingly.

"No, you don't get it! I _know _you never cared about me! I _know _you're only my friends because you feel sorry for me! I _know_ you hate me and don't want to be friends! So just drop the act and tell me the truth!"

"James you're scaring me," Carlos whimpered.

James looked at Carlos.

"James, we care so much about you! You're like a brother to us! We want what's best for you!" Logan tried to calm the enraged James down.

James felt the anger bubble up inside him even more. Why did they keep lying to him? Why wouldn't they just tell him the truth? His ribs were starting to ache from the strain of yelling, but he didn't care.

"YOU DON'T CARE! I KNOW YOU DON'T CARE! IF YOU CARED YOU WOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING ABOUT THE ABUSE SOONER! YOU WOULD HAVE NOTICED THE ABUSE SOONER!"

Carlos looked around the room. Was he the only one that remembered?

"James we did know about the abuse before. Don't you remember?"

**A/n: Hmm…I really hate this chapter. That's also another reason as to why I took so long to update. I could never get this chapter written right! I would write and delete, write and delete, write and delete. It was like a never ending loop. I hope you can forgive and you don't have to leave a review this time because I know I don't deserve any. **


	16. Authors Note

**A/N: Sorry this isn't a chapter folks, but it's still just as important! Over the last few weeks I started to re-read this FanFiction, and I have come to the conclusion that it sucks, big time. This is mostly why I have been updating so slowly. I hate this story, I really do, and I think that if I got the change to fix it I might not hate it so much. I really don't know why it has forty four reviews. It's doesn't deserve that many, but I have an idea. I feel that I have come a long way as a writer. I have improved and learned a lot about punctuation and the works of writing. So if you guys didn't mind and if you would still support me and the story I was thinking I could take down this story and re-post it with better chapters. They would still essentially have the same material inside of them, but they would be written better and hopefully not sound so….vacuous, and unrealistic. There would be less spelling mistakes, and better punctuation. They would also be longer and the characters wouldn't be so OOC. This is just an idea I have. So If you will, I would really appreciate you drop a review to me telling me what you think of my idea. Is it brilliant, or does it sound dumb. Maybe it's an OK idea? Either way tell me what you think. Thanks! One more thing. I am going to change my user name. I hate it, hate it, hate. One because it sounds kinda cheesy, and two it has a bunch of dumb abbreviations. I have always hated abbreviations so I don't know why I put them in my pen name. Anyways my new pen name will be FlyingteletubbieManatees. Now I'm guessing your wondering WHY in the world I would pick this as my new pen name. Well I'll tell you. My friends and I had to do a project in world geography a few months back where we had to draw five land forms and if we wanted to we could add weird, random, funny things to our drawings. My friends I drew TelleTubbies on flying manatees. So that is where my pen name came from. Anyways, I'm done blabbering now and don't forget to tell me what you think of my idea!  
**


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